M = M*rkus

How funny is it that I struggled for so long over what topic to choose for the letter M, and now here is M*rkus with so many people asking questions. Here I can answer some questions and maybe fill you in on a few things.

For anybody who is not in the loop, my guys and I will be hosting a boy from Latvia this summer. His name is M*rkus, and he is eleven years old.  M*rkus, like many of the hundreds or thousands of children in Eastern Europe, is an orphan. For these children, that is a negative stigma. People look at orphans as criminals, and their hope for their futures is slim.

These orphan children are aged out of the system at age sixteen and are turned out onto the street, after which over 80% of them will fall prey to homelessness, drugs, prostitution, lives of crime, and suicide. Many of them feel left out, unworthy, left behind.

And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. -Matthew 18:5

With New Horizons for Children, many of these children are given HOPE. Through NHFC, families, like ours, host children from Latvia and Ukraine for about five weeks at a time twice a year when the orphanages close. Yes, the orphanages close. That confounds me, but that is another story.

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. -Psalm 68:5

Through NHFC, children are brought to the United States of America where they will live as a part of a functioning, Christian FAMILY. They will experience LOVE, enjoy fun and LAUGHTER, go to church, do the things that the families do.  All the while, these children will be learning English.  This is a skill that can help them with A FUTURE.

It is said that during the five weeks that they are here, the children will learn as much English as they would learn in four or five years at school back home.  In Eastern Europe, many of the countries speak English as a second language, not Latvian or Ukrainian.  Thus, by learning English and strengthening their skills in that language, these children are able to broaden their future possibilities.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. -Matthew 19:14

Additionally, these children will learn more about the love of God, they will learn that they are not alone, they will learn self-esteem, and so many more positive things that they may be missing living at orphanages and foster homes.

If you have any questions about M*rkus, about NHFC, or about this program, please feel free to ask.  We will do our best to answer. Meanwhile, please be praying for all of the children, and the host families, and the program and everyone involved in making this opportunity a reality for the over 180 children coming to America in a few weeks.

You are invited to join this group on Facebook to follow our journey with M*rkus.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. -James 1:27

Surrender to God

"Dear Lord, I'm on my knees again. I come to You because You understand. I've tried so hard, but I just can't change myself. That's why I know I need your hand. So here I am, this is my plea. My only hope is Your love for me. I'm reaching out so desperately. Take my hand, take all of me...."





How can a person not be moved by that song?

Can you surrender to God?

It is so difficult to truly surrender to God. We humans find it difficult to give up control of the remote. How can we be expected to give up control of our entire lives?

James 4:8 tells us to "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." The first step in surrender to God is being close to God. It takes trust to surrender, and it takes a relationship to build trust. How close are you to God?

Psalm 143:10 says, "Teach me to do your will, for you are my God." Part of building a relationship with God is to learn His Word...and then follow it. "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." James 1:22 reminds us of that.

Humble Yourself

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."

hum·ble verb (used with object)

to lower in condition, importance, or dignity; abase.

to destroy the independence, power, or will of.

to make meek: to humble one's heart.

James 4:10 is simply saying that when we stop trying so hard to be in control and allow God to be the head of our lives, then He will take care of us.

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Part of surrender to God is also resisting evil. Resist what is wrong. Sometimes what is right is not what is easy, and we can fall into the trap of doing what is wrong for convenience. James 4:7 tells us to "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear (be capable of). But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure (hold out against) it." 1 Corinthians 10:13 encourages us that we will not face a temptation that we are not humanly able to resist. However, do not confuse that with the common saying that God will not give us more than we can handle (manage or deal with on your own). That is not part of surrender to God.  That is us thinking that we do not need Him.

Surrender

"My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways."  Proverbs 23:26

Give me your heart.  Really think about those words.  Is this simple or difficult for you?  Why?

Let your eyes observe my ways...and then be like that.  The more that we observe His ways and be like Him, the easier that surrendering to Him will become.

Stripper Pole at Church?

A friend of mine posted an article over at Taber's Truths about a story that he had read at The Christian Post about a pastor who chose to use a stripper pole as a prop for his upcoming sermon series about intimacy in marriage. My friend got riled up about this, and it got me thinking. Do I agree with my friend that this was nothing more than a classless display by a preacher who is letting today's culture dictate how he runs his church? I am not sure.

Ohio Pastor Puts Stripper Pole Next to Pulpit

With a bed and a stripper pole next to his pulpit, a pastor in Ohio is all set to begin a series of sermons on sex and relationships beginning Sunday.

Ready to start a new sermon series called "Battle of the Sexes," Pastor Mike Scruggs at the Light of Word Ministries in White Oak, Ohio, has put a stripper pole, video games and sports equipment on one side of the pulpit, representing what men desire. On the other side, he has set up a bed with candies, teddy bears, roses and a bottle of wine to depict what women want.

On all Sundays in April, Scruggs will share about best practices in bedroom, keeping intimacy alive and the need to build and maintain trust. "Right now we're having single people having too much sex and married people not having enough sex," he told Fox19.

Scruggs admits some could get offended by his message. "We push the envelope, that's true," he said.

source: http://www.christianpost.com/news/ohio-pastor-puts-stripper-pole-next-to-pulpit-to-talk-sex-72432/

Is This Wrong?

Some people might be thinking, "Gasp! A stripper pole in God's house?! That is horrifying!" Some people might be thinking, "It is probably not an actual stripper pole. It is simply a prop. I mean, it is not like the preacher is going to have dancers up there twirling at church." What do I think? I fall somewhere in the middle.

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I want to think that the pastor has good intentions. Given that he is displaying "guy's guys stuff" on one side and "fluffy-girly-romance stuff" on the other side, it is clear to me that he is trying to make a point about how each gender desires for what they consider ideal situations or things, possibly rather than desiring for their spouse directly. Realistically, sexy and provocative are what many men desire.

You may be thinking, "...but a stripper pole at church?!"

Isaiah 64:6

You can say anything that you want about how sin, lust, adultery, etc., are wrong. However, they are all out there, and it is a part of life. Lust is a very successful sin, for that matter. Our own pastor said recently that he cannot even going to the mall for clothes with his small children without seeing "sex" everywhere trying to sell something to the public.

Sexy is out in public because it works.

Every human is a sinner by nature...and should it not be every Christian church's desire to reach those people (everyone) and encourage them to make better choices? In this case, I believe the choice is to love and desire your husband or wife and not to go looking for satisfaction in other places.

Romans 3:23

Yes, it may be that standing a pole at the front of the building is a bit extreme and could be for shock value. However, if the media attention caused by that shock value brings in one man, or one woman, or one couple, who may not have come otherwise, if they wind up hearing God's Word and having it speak to them, and if it does something positive for themselves or for their marriage, then was it worth it?

What do you think?

Bible Verses for Women

Are you a woman looking for some Bible verses for women that are relevant to you? There are so many women who do not realize how much of God's Word is actually intended for them. As a matter of fact, if we want to get right down to it, all of the Bible verses for women can be found between Genesis 1:1 where, "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth," and Revelation 22:21 where, "The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God's people. Amen."

My List of Bible Verses for Women.

That is right, Ladies, it is all there for our learning, for our guidance, and for our benefit. All Bible verses are for women as well as for men and children. Together, let us look at some specific Bible verses and what they mean to you.

Specific Bible verses for women.

Genesis 2:18 tells us that "The LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'” From almost the very beginning of scripture, the Bible tells us that woman was created for man. We were created to be man's helper, man's partner, man's companion. Man was not created to live alone, and woman was created for him. How special is it to know that women were created for such a grand purpose?

In Psalm 32:8 we are told that "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you." The Bible make it so simple. No, it [life] is not always easy, but our guidebook is simple. The Lord God tells us exactly how we can live a life in a relationship with Him. Do you live in a relationship with God? Do you want to?

“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” If you are looking for Bible verses for women, Titus 2:3-5 is about as direct as they come.

Many women either are or will be wives, and there are Bible verses that offer guidance for women in this area. In Proverbs 12:4, we are taught that, "A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown,but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones." If you are a wife, are you a wife with whom your husband – and the Lord – can be pleased?

“In the same way, [all of] the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything." Do you live your life the way that 1 Timothy 3:11 tells us? Take a good look at yourself. Are you a woman who is worthy of respect? If not, then how can you change your ways to become that woman?

You may be a woman who is struggling with something right now. Isaiah 41:10 reminds us to "fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." If we let it, that Bible verse can be quite encouraging! Do you know that God is willing to be right there with you in your times of need if you will invite Him to be? Of course, He wants to be with you in your times of joy, too!

If you are lonely, be encouraged that you are never alone when you are in Him. Isaiah 43:1b encouraged, “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." Wow. God knows YOU. He knew who you were going to be before you were born. He loves you. He wants you in His family.

John 3:16-17 is a passage that you may already know. It tells us that "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." Could you imagine the extent of that love? Could you ever love someone so much that you would let them torture and take away your own child for their benefit? Pause for a moment....

Can you even comprehend how powerful that love is? Not likely. Yet God loves us so much that, as these Bible verses tell us, He made that sacrifice...yes, even for the women. Do you know Jesus? Please tell me if you would like to. He definitely wants to know YOU.

”Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." 1 John 4:7-11 makes it clear that we are called to love one another. These are good Bible verses for women because for women, who by nature can be catty, this can be a challenge, and we need to be reminded. You may be thinking that you are a very caring and nurturing person, and you might be – to your family and friends – but do you also love the people that you do not like?

Romans 15:7 adds that we are to “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”

Please share this list of Bible verses for women!

While there are so many more Bible verses for women, this list includes some that I felt lead to share with you. Are you someone who was seeking Bible verses for women? Did you find something here that spoke to you? I do hope that you have been pleased with what you have read here and look forward to your comments. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I am here to share God's Word with you, and if I do not know an answer, I will do what I can to find out for you.

P.S. Remain encouraged because "He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion."

I = Ichthus

You may know it as the Jesus fish. You have seen it on vehicles, on clothes, on jewelry, on business advertisements, and possibly many more places. Do you really know what it is, though?

ψάρια (ikhthýs) is a Greek word meaning "fish." You may know that fish are a prevalent thing in the Bible, both actual fish and fish used as a metaphor. Some say that the Greek word in capital letters is ΙΧΘΥΣ, which can also be used as an acronym meaning, "Jesus Christ, God's Son, Savior."

I found the following explanation here.

• Iesous (Iasoos) is Jesus. The first letter is ‘iota’, Ιησους.
• Xristos (Christos) is Christ. The first letter is ‘chi’, Χριστóς.
• Theou (Theou) is God. The first letter is ‘theta’, Θεοῦ.
• Yios (Huios) is Son. The first letter is ‘upsilon’, Υἱός.
• Sotare (Sotare) is Savior. The first letter is sigma’, Σωτήρ.

Today many Christians display this symbol as a proclamation that they are followers of Christ. Additionally, some display it as reminders that Jesus calls us to be fishers of men, to share Christ with others.

I have read several places that this symbol was originated in the first and second centuries when Christians were being commonly persecuted, tortured, and put to death during the reign of Roman emperors that despised them, possibly starting with Nero, under whose reign both Peter and Paul are thought to have perished.

How did this symbol come to be? It is said that when two people met, one of them might casually draw an arc in the sand or dirt with their toe. If the other person was also a Christian, they would just as casually draw another arc with their toe, thus creating the fish symbol. If that was done, then both people know that they were safe to acknowledge that they were Christians and talk freely amongst themselves.

If you are curious to know more about the ichthus (or ichthys), I encourage you to research it. So many every day things have such interesting backgrounds about which we could learn so much if we want to!

Oh, and for a neat bonus, I discovered the ichthus wheel. When you combine the Greek letters of ΙΧΘΥΣ, they make a six-spoked wheel. Apparently, this symbol can sometimes be seen with the ichthus and the Greek letters.

H = Happiness

What is happiness? Happiness is different for different people. For me, happiness comes with a decision. Am I happy? Yes. Is it that easy? Most of the time, yes.

You may be thinking that I am an idiot. A person cannot just decide to be happy. Life is hard, and there is so much pressure and stress and difficulty, and a person cannot just be happy.

I would beg to differ. Much of the time, it is that easy.

Many of the things in life that cause us stress, frustration, aggravation, are not that big of a deal. We make them a big deal. We make mountains out of mole hills. The next time something upsets you, pause and ask yourself, "Is this really a big deal, or am I making it one?"

Yes, many of us do have big things in our lives that are painful or stressful or difficult. How we handle those situations and our outlook on those situations is up to us.

Do not begin to think that I do not have those things in my life because I can assure you that my husband and I have our share of difficulties and sorrows this year. The fact of the matter is, though, that I do not grab hold of those experiences and let them dictate my mood. After all, is being miserable and wallowing going to change the situation? No. It is not going to accomplish anything but making myself unhappy. Therefore, I can choose to be happy, and I can either do what I can do to change a difficult situation or accept that I cannot change it and ask God to help me do what I can to get through it, to be at peace, to be content, to be happy.

If you still do not believe that you can simply decide to be happy, try it. The next time something causes you to be in a foul or unhappy mood, ask yourself, "Is this really worth feeling this way?" Maybe if you accept that being miserable will not help the situation and choose to be happy, you will find that you actually can be.

I am just saying.

E = Easter

Easter is so close. Some people think that Christmas is the most important Holiday for Christians, yet Easter is the reason that we have Christmas in the first place. Christ came to this earth for the purpose of sacrificing himself for us. The Resurrection is what it is all about.

How beautiful the heart that bled

that took all my sin

and bore it instead.

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, -Romans 3:23

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 6:32

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. -Romans 5:8

for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. -Romans 10:13

How many people do not realize how simple it is?

How beautiful the tender eyes

that chose to forgive

and never despise.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. -Romans 8:1-2

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. -John 3:17

How beautiful the radiant Bride

who waits for her Groom

with His light in her eyes.

To my readers who are believers, I would be happy to read scripture that you feel goes with the last stanza that I posted above, so please comment to share some.

To my readers who are not believers, I hope that you will take the time to consider to message and the importance of Easter, and, if you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask.

How Beautiful by Twila Paris

Sung by Lisa Kosier

Signed by DUG

C = Church

How many of you go to church, and how many of you make excuses not to go even though you claim to have a relationship with the Lord? There are 168 hours in each week. Can you really not spend one or two of them at church? There are many explanations that people give for not going to church. Most of them are nothing more than lame excuses: they do not want to get out of bed, they do not want to tithe, the people at church are not any better than they are, and on and on. There is one excuse that sort of bugs me, though.

I have a personal relationship with God, and I do not have to go to church to worship Him.

That is correct. You do not have to go to church. If you truly have a personal relationship with God, though, then why would you not want to do what pleases Him? God wants us to fellowship with one another, to worship Him, to be a family -- His family.

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." -Hebrews 10:24-25

Did you know that Jesus Himself attended what we call church? Luke 4:16 tells us that "He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom."

Jesus...went to the meeting place...as was his custom. Hmmm.

There are also practical reasons for being a part of a church family. "Family." You need people in your life with whom to fellowship and worship and learn and feed your spirit. You need to be surrounded by Godly love and support. You need others.

In addition to attending a church on Sundays, my family and I are a part of a Life Group on Fridays. This is a small group of people that has the opportunity to dig deeper in the Word and build relationships on a more personal level. Our Life Group has a Bible verse that is "our" verse.

"They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer." -Acts 2:42

If you are someone who has reasons not to go to church, yet you love the Lord and want to be a part of His family, please let me encourage you to find a church home. You may be surprised when you find new relationships, renewal for your spirit, and possibly a place where you will actually enjoy being.

One last thing. Matthew 18:20 tells us, "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them." What better company could you hope to find?

Why Give God Credit?

Do you give God credit for everything? I mean EVERYTHING? If so, why?

Now, before you go giving me grief, hear (read) me out.

There are some people who give God credit for everything, and I mean everything, whether it comes from Him or not. Yes, that is correct, not everything comes from God. The enemy also "gives" to us.

Did you ever do something that you were unsure was the right thing to do because, if you had to be honest, you really wanted to do it? Were your motives selfish, or was it really right? Did you justify the decision by saying that you know that it was what God wanted you to do because if He did not want you to do it, then He would not have let you?

"Let you?" That is a bit of a lame excuse because God gave us free will. You are capable of making your own decisions and taking your own actions. Yes, God will most certainly "let" you make mistakes.

I have heard it said that people ask God, if something is not meant to be, to please put up roadblocks. Then, when obvious roadblocks appear, they do what it takes to get around them in order to do what they wanted in the first place. God would have prevented a person from getting around a roadblock if He did not want them to have or do that something, though, right?

We are not marionettes! God does not control us. He does guide us and give us direction. Do we really want His guidance, or do we just want to feel "righteous" for asking?

Think about this:

The evil one tempts you with something that you want. Let us use a car as an example. You want this car. You pray about it and ask God if this is the car that you should buy. When you go back to look at it a second time, you notice a paint drip on the fender and ask why the car was painted. The person selling the car says that it was in a minor accident but is fine. RED FLAG? Your spouse does not think that buying the car is a good idea. CLUE #2? The bank will not approve your loan for the car. HINT #3? You really want this car, though, so you do whatever you can to get the money to buy it. After all, the car was fixed after the accident, so it is probably fine. You buy the car.

You are so excited, and you thank God for making it possible for you to buy that car.

Then it turns our that an axle is bent, the frame was damaged, and several other damages must have happened in that accident that you did not realize when you bought the car. The car is costing you more money that you can afford and lots of stress, and it is causing problems in your marriage because your spouse thought that you should not buy the car in the first place. That car is causing you more trouble in your life than it is worth. Why? WHY? WHY?!

God, why would you let me buy a car that was going to cause so many problems? I prayed and asked you about it, and you did not stop me!

Huh?

Is it possible that God gave you at least three reasons not to buy the car? Is it possible that you did not pay attention to God? Is it possible that the evil one gave you that car because the evil one wanted to mess with your life? Is it possible that the evil one brought that car to you in the hopes that it would make you question God? Is it possible that by thanking God for this car, you gave Him credit for something that the evil one did?

Now I will go back to my original question: Do you give God credit for everything? I mean EVERYTHING? If so, why?

Suicide

Someone that I once knew pretty well committed suicide last week.

Many thoughts were running through my mind. Will he be going to Heaven? Did he think about the people he left behind and how his actions would affect them? Did he really want to die? Did he leave a note?

Yes, that last one may seem off, but Pump Up the Volume, an old Christian Slater movie, came to mind. "Did you at least write a note? You have a reason, don't you? You're not going to be one of those people who kills themselves, and nobody has any idea why they did it? Hey, that's why we need a note, Pal!"

I know that is crass. I am not insensitive to that. If you have seen the movie, then you know that Christian Slater's character did not think that the guy was really going to commit suicide. He thought that the guy was merely having a tough time and feeling down, maybe looking for attention.

Was it like that with our old friend? Did he reach out to anyone? Did they not take him seriously? Did they let him down when he may have needed them most? How alone and miserable must someone feel to go so far as to take their own life?

Back to my first question: Will he go to Heaven? There are an array of thoughts on the matter of whether one will go to Heaven after taking their own life. Some believe that you must ask forgiveness for your sin, and if you are dead, then how can you ask forgiveness? Some believe that once your have Jesus Christ as your Saviour, your sins are paid for and covered. The Sixth Commandment tells us, "Though shalt not murder," or "Though shalt not kill." Does this make suicide a sin?

I will admit that I do not know the word in its original Hebrew. In today's English, Dictionary.com's first definition of murder is, "the killing of another human being." Does that mean that you cannot murder yourself? Dictionary.com's first definition of kill is, "to deprive of life in any manner." Wait a minute, that means something different.

Here is what the Bible tells us.

God's Word says, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith -- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God," (Ephesians 2:8) and that nothing can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:37-39).

NOTHING can separate from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus. That is, as long as we have a relationship with Christ Jesus. Did my old friend have a relationship with Jesus? I am sorry to say that I do not know.

Do we have people in our lives who might be reaching out for help? Are we extending a hand to give them something to grab? Are we sharing the Gospel with them? Are we emphasizing John 3:16? Are we paying attention to what people are not telling us? Are we working to be sure that the people around us are exposed to Christ's love through us?

Most of us are not equipped to deal with a person considering suicide. Hopefully and thankfully, most of the people in our lives are likely not going to even consider it. Probably, though, we do have people in our lives who are feeling bad in some way. What we are equipped to do is to love someone who is sad, to comfort someone who is hurting, to listen when someone wants to talk, to simply be there when someone is feeling alone.

Not only are we called to, but it is also so important that we share the rewards of Christ's love with others. Bear in mind that if someone is in need and is thirsting for something, then the Living Water could sound realllly good.

After all, "How, then, can they call on the One they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the One of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?" -Romans 10:14

Hey, look...this song fits again. Thank you, Casting Crowns.

NOTE: If you know of someone who has a serious problem, and you are not able to be what they need, then I encourage you to find someone who might: a pastor or a doctor or someone professionally trained to handle serious, emotional issues.

Gossip

A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret. -Proverbs 11:13

Gossip is wrong. We know that, right? Gossip accuses people. It charges others with wrong, and people love to talk about the alleged wrongs of others. People love to put others down.

Proverbs 16:27 tells us:

A scoundrel plots evil, and on their lips it is like a scorching fire. (NIV)

Mean people spread mean gossip; their words smart and burn. (MSG)

A worthless man plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire. (ESV)

An ungodly man diggeth up evil: and in his lips there is as a burning fire. (KJV)

No matter how you say it, gossip is not good. When it is brought to your attention that you have been a victim of gossip, it may cause you to wonder. "What have I done to this person? Do I even know this person? I actually know this person. I thought that we were friends." ...or so many other things.

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. -Matthew 18:15

...so if someone had a problem with you, why did you hear the gossip from someone else?

More directly, why did they gossip in the first place? Do people think about the results of their gossip? Do people intend to hurt others? Sometimes, possibly, they do.

"They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim cruel words like deadly arrows. They shoot from ambush at the innocent; they shoot suddenly, without fear." -Psalm 64:3-4

Oftentimes, I would suspect that people do not think of the results of their actions.

People gossip to feel superior. People gossip to try to impress others by being the person to have "the dirt." People gossip out of jealousy. People gossip for attention.

One of the damaging things about gossip is that it is often untrue or based on other gossip. You remember playing the telephone game when you were younger, right? One person would start by whispering something in someone's ear, and then they would whisper is in the next persons ear, and so on and so on until the last person would say it out loud. Usually, what the last person said out loud was not what the original person said.

Gossip is much like that.

When the message gets to you, what do you do with it? Do you continue to talk about people behind their backs? Do you even bother to find out the facts, or do you continue to spread the gossip?

...OR do you nip it in the bud and say, "I do not want to hear that gossip. If you have an issue with that person, then you need to go talk with them directly."

"The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." -Proverbs 12:18

We can be cruel, hurtful, catty gossipers, or we can be the positive example and treat those around us with respect. Which is the kind of person that you would rather be?