Tuesday, February 8, 2011


For a while now, my husband has been saying that we needed to go to New York to visit his grandfather. It was important to spend time with G'pa and to introduce our son and his great grandfather. When we planned to go, we wound up not going.

G'pa died Sunday morning. My husband was crushed, and my heart broke for him. The misery was twofold. My husband was remorseful because we did not go and spend time with G'pa before it was too late.

Additionally, my husband was devastated because he had disobeyed God. You see, the reason that he knew that we needed to go see G'pa was because God kept telling him to go. My husband told me this, repeatedly. We both knew. We never made the time and went. Now we do not even have the opportunity.

This was a slap in the face to my husband because it highlighted his disobedience to God. As if He wants to make sure that we do not forget, G'pa died on our son's birthday. Can you even imagine how that must feel to my husband?

As we were absorbing the reality of what happened, and my husband was feeling incredibly remorseful, I felt like he was not alone in the disobedience. You see, even though God was speaking to my husband, my husband conveyed the message to me, and I could have been more proactive in making the journey happen. I even had the idea of asking someone to help G'pa get on Skype so that we could at least speak with him and let him and our son see each other. How simple is that? Did I follow through, though? No.

This loss is most definitely a lesson on obedience for my husband. However, it is also a lesson on action for me. I knew that my husband had a calling. I knew that it was time sensitive. I could have been less of a "supportive" wife and more of a wife of action. For that, I am truly sorry to my husband.

Yes, this is a tough lesson for both of us, and, yes, I am sure that God will use this lesson to bring blessings to our life and hopefully to others. For me personally, I hope that I can take this lesson to heart and make a change in myself to be more like the kind of wife God wants me to be for my husband, to sense when he has a need, and to take action to help him fulfill it.


  1. So sorry for your loss! I know it must be difficult...my encouragement would be to take the lesson learned to heart, but release the guilt. God's grace will always be poured out as He continues to mold you into His image. A beautiful heart is one that grieves, repents, learns, implements change, and moves forward in His love and grace! Something you both certainly possess : )

  2. I"m really sorry for the loss of your DH's G'pa! Ya' know; we learn best from experiences we have. I feel that you and your DH have learned from this unfortunate experience. God was speaking to your DH. Sometimes without giving a lot of thought we choose to ignore the things God is telling us. It doesn't mean we don't love God. It just means that we're so caught up in our daily lives. I know and you know that God should come first and above everything. Perhaps God needed to teach you and DH a lesson. Think on this! I know at times he teaches me lessons by placing me in a situation that I'd much prefer not to be. It's very important to pay attention to these lessons God teaches us through the experiences of our lives. You've realized and you've asked forgiveness. Now, move on and feel no guilt. Just show God that you've learned from this and will be attentive to what God tells us. You and your DH are really good people. Wives should be encouraging to their husbands, as husbands should be encouraging to their wives. Unfortunately, my marriage suffered from no encouragement from my husband and it ended. Always listen, be aware, and be supportive...both of you to the other one! It's imperative!
    God Bless!

  3. Freida, that was just it. Our lives are so busy, and we just did not find the time. Sigh. Time.

  4. So sorry to hear of your loss, unfortunately, we all get sided tracked with our everyday busy lives we forget to take a break from time to time, Your husband shouldn't feel that the loss of his grandfather on your son's birthday is his reminder. Think of it as a day of happiness/remembrance. In our family when a loved one had passed, we celebrate their life. I am not very religious, but I believe in many things and I am sure this is not a punishment. Just a reality check that sometimes no matter how busy we may be we always need to take the time to reflect and visit those whom we haven't seen or have lost touch with. Every day is a blessing we just have to notice them.