Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Life As a Talk Show Guest

People laugh when it comes into conversation that I have been a guest on various talk shows because, at first, they wonder if I am kidding. Then they almost always ask the same question: What were the topics?

A couple of friends and I sort of made the rounds of a few talk shows back in the mid-90s. None of the shows were serious, and most of them I would not likely do again, given the opportunity. Participating on them, though, was an interesting experience. After all, we all know that if it is on television, then it must be real, right? ::cough::

Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see.

The fact is that, from my experience, much of what we see on television talk shows is -- brace yourself -- not real. It is embellished for effect, it is exaggerated for interest, it is sometimes even scripted. One time, I even agreed to appear on a show that was one topic, and then it aired as a different (unflattering) topic. Ooh, that one ticked me off.

A funny thing about talk shows, at least back then, was that people were not being real. Some of the "guests" were, in a sense, actors. As a matter of fact, the producers would bring more people to the show than they needed, choose their picks, and let the rest sit in the audience. Then, if the producers did not have all that they desired, they would sort of groom some of the guests into what they wanted each of them to be.

Do people ever try to make you what they want you to be? Do you ever try to make people fit into what you want them to be? How about the reverse? Do you ever go into a situation and try to be what you think you need to be to fit in or to be accepted? How far do you go?

He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. -Raymond Hull

On one talk show, the guests were told to dress sexy but to dress in clothes that they wore normally. Two sisters put on their clothes, which, if I remember correctly, were denim overall shorts. The producers went into the dressing room to check on everyone, and absolutely did not like what the sisters were wearing because it was not sexy enough. After the producers rifled through their suitcases, the sisters wound up wearing teddies (yes, lingerie) and stockings and had to act like that was what they wore normally to go out in public. Seriously?! Yes. Did they? Yes.

Have you ever gone so far outside of yourself to be what someone else wanted? Why do you think someone would? How must someone need to feel to want to fit in so badly that they would pretend to be something that they are not? If you are fitting in as something that you are not, are you really fitting in?

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not. -Andre Gide

Do you ever feel out of place, like you do not fit in anywhere? Maybe you have not gone to such an extreme to fit in, yet maybe you have done something that was not true to yourself. Did you pretend to like something that you did not because someone else did? Did you pretend to be interested in something that you were not because you thought that it would impress someone else?

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. -Judy Garland

The fact of the matter is that you are you. You are unique. Me, too. Each of us has different traits, personalities, styles, tastes, talents and opinions, and there is something about that that we all need to remember: It is okay!

You were born an original. Don't die a copy. -John Mason

Even though there are times or situations that can make it seem difficult, being true to yourself is the only real way to know who is being true to you.

Have you ever watched some of those talk shows and made fun of the guests and thought that they seemed so unnatural that it had to be fake? If you are trying to be something that you are not, then you could ask yourself, Has anyone ever thought that about me?

Be true. Be real. Be yourself. You are who you are for a purpose.

If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise. -Johann von Goethe


  1. I think that I, as a teenager/ child did "try" to fit in, But I think we all do that, it is sort of a way that we find ourselves. I find that the older I get, the more of "ME" comes out. I am a little more stubborn , a little more wise and a little more me. I have no problems showing people who I am, even when I don't fit in. I love the skin God gave me!

  2. Right on, Heather! Thank you for sharing that. By the way, I like the "YOU." Hehe.

  3. I remember you doing those shows and I have seen how much you have grown as a person and as a Christian and it makes my heart happy....

  4. I find a lot of truth in your comment, Heather. I remember doing things when I was younger that make me cringe now. I am so glad that becoming comfortable with who I am in God has made me comfortable enough to show other people who I really am.

    Very thought provoking!

  5. I decided quite some time ago that if I can't be me, then all is lost. I can't really ever be anything else. Well, maybe for a short period in a stage production, but even then everyone KNOWS I am just playacting. The real me is always there just waiting to be let out again after all the "acts" are done. What a relief!!!!

  6. He who the Son has set free is free indeed!

  7. "being true to yourself is the only real way to know who is being true to you."
    LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You get what you get with me;) It is true the older you get the easier it is to "Be yourself" I remember doing a women's conference at RCC called "Soul Care". Part of the study talked about just like we wear many hats....We often wear many masks.
    Honestly it took me a long time into my Early 30's before I truly loved the "Skin I was in" and could just be me.
    Truth is people either love me or are very annoyed by me. The only one I seek to serve is Christ. You truly find out who your friends are when you just be yourself. And you can count on those friendships because they are based on truth!
    Acepting the beautiful me that God intended really has allowed me to raise my girls to be true to Christ and one another, and most of all themselves!

  8. for me....I have done the opposite. I have tried to make people into what I want them to be.....which is wrong. It is a control issue. Better to let go and leg god mold people...not Rob....lol