I saw someone post on Facebook that she was feeling down in the dumps, and people responded by telling her that other people had it worse than her. One person even listed other people who were having "real" problems. This made me pause and think about the fact that people's first reaction seemed to be to criticize her rather than comfort her. She was feeling bad. Were her feelings not valid?
No matter how bad you have it, someone always has it worse. You have heard that, right? Why do people say that? Is that meant to be comforting? Yes, I know that your dog died, and your mom is in the hospital, and your husband has not worked in a year, and your kid has the flu, and you sprained your ankle, and someone ran into your car in the parking lot, but remember that no matter how bad you have it, someone always has it worse.
HUH?!
Have we so little compassion as a society that we will not say, "I am sorry that you are feeling bad. Is there anything that I can do to help you?" Does it take too much more effort to ask why someone is feeling bad or what happened to make them feel that way than it takes to tell them to get over it?
No matter how bad you have it, someone always has it worse. You have heard that, right? Why do people say that? Is that meant to be comforting? Yes, I know that your dog died, and your mom is in the hospital, and your husband has not worked in a year, and your kid has the flu, and you sprained your ankle, and someone ran into your car in the parking lot, but remember that no matter how bad you have it, someone always has it worse.HUH?!
Have we so little compassion as a society that we will not say, "I am sorry that you are feeling bad. Is there anything that I can do to help you?" Does it take too much more effort to ask why someone is feeling bad or what happened to make them feel that way than it takes to tell them to get over it?
Compassion is defined as a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.
Imagine all of the greatness in life that we would not experience without compassion. Imagine what a miserable life (or death) we would have if the Lord showed us no compassion. Imagine how alone we would feel without giving or experiencing compassion.
Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing. -Thessalonians 5:11
I encourage you to make an extra effort to be compassionate this week. If someone is hurting or having a bad day, do not be quick to criticize them -- or avoid them -- but instead take the time to care.
Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. -Galations 6:2
Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing. -Thessalonians 5:11
I encourage you to make an extra effort to be compassionate this week. If someone is hurting or having a bad day, do not be quick to criticize them -- or avoid them -- but instead take the time to care.
Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. -Galations 6:2
You have always shown compassion to others, and often gotten kicked in the pants for it, but you keep on.....
ReplyDeleteI agree, in this day and age there seems to be a lot more criticizing than genuine compassion and caring for one another. Why... who knows. But the world would be way better off if more people cared about each other and were overall NICE to each other!
ReplyDeleteI am hoping I would say, "Sorry you are feeling badly, hope tomorrow is a better day for you!" But, there are times when I am an idiot and say the wrong thing. Hopefully I will keep this blog in mind and remember to be supportive of my friends in the future!!
ReplyDeleteGREAT POINTS! I been there before.
ReplyDeleteGood thoughts Dm, and truer words have never been spoken.
ReplyDeleteOne person comes to my mind when I think about that response of "deal with it". For me the response will vary with individuals. I tend to not coddle those who are trying to have a pity party. So I may not have compassion. After I really get to know a person, I would like to think that I'm in tune with the Holy Spirit to know how to respond when I'm approached. That's always the best thing to do, rely on the leading of the Holy Spirit.
ReplyDeleteMusiciangcr, that is a good point. I do know "those" people, too. I will clarify to say that the person who originally said that she was feeling blue is normally a cheerful and friendly person.
ReplyDeleteJust give them words of encouragement..let them know that you are around for one on one chat if they need it. I find that posting worship music on my profile tends to hit people right where they need it. You would be amazed and the number of e-mails I get that affirms how uplifting that is.
ReplyDeleteI got an e-mail one day from someone who said, "I am not religious-but this music lifts my spirit!"
If you're feeling down in the dumps, the least thing you need is criticizing from anyone! I tend to be overly-compassionate (some people say). But it just seems to be my nature! I got it from my mother! The shoe has been on the other foot too many times. I know how it feels to be criticized. It only makes you feel worse! Why do people feel they are doing you some good by criticizing you? It just doesn't make any sense (to me). 'Course, I'm made from a different stock...where you put others feeling first above your own. I always try to put myself in that person's situation and ask myself how I'd want someone to respond to me if I said I was down in the dumps. We all have those kinda' days, for goodness sakes!
ReplyDeleteI have decided to think of everyone as if they were my son or daughter, parent, or grandchild, and treat them as I would my own loved ones. There are a few people where this is very challenging. Overall I prefer to encourage and do not like to criticize. Criticism does not help people, It just belittles them. We are to build up, not tear down. Find out what has caused their mood then consider what you may be able to say or do that will raise their spirit again. Just let them know that you care.
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